Outside

Right now as im typing this, i am sitting in the stairs of my apartment building. Now my building is one of those who have the halways and staris between apartments without walls or roofs, meaining that they are "outside" as in nature, and man, it was AMAZING! The air breeze blewing through my hair and smelling the trees and hearing the birds (with my music of my laptop =D) well it was pretty cool. here are some photos i took.

Trust

Recently, a certain person who has autority over me, asked me if i trusted her. I automatically and withtout thinking, i said yes. However, later, when this person, lets call her M, found a certain paper containing priveledge information, i got into a lot of trouble. After i got scolded, enter a thinking state and reflected on if i truly trusted M to secrets i have. The main problem is that i feel that if M were to know things I know, then the consequences wont be nice. Now, i know that everyone should accept the consequences of his/her actions, however, people usually tried to avoid unplesants situations.

So now the real question rises. Do i trust M enough to tell her EVERYTHING? Do YOU trust one person at least one to tell him/her EVERYTHING?

Sleep

Seriously i never noticed the effect of a good night of sleep. Recently I got punish, and as that i couldnt stayed up past 10 pm. Yesterday was the first night i slept at said hour after several years of sleeping past 1 am. and SERIOUSLY it made such a big DIFFERENCE I couldn't quite believe it. For the first time in almost 2 years (not counting vacations or free days), i woke up happy. Seriously sleeping early is really really good, I strongly recomend it ^_^.

Reality

Today at school, my history teacher chastise a friend because he was spacing out. Her exact words were "Hey! pay attention! You're never in this reality!" And my friend came up with these words: "Whats so good about our reality?" An d that was it... That quote stayed with me all day long, and hasn't let me think straight. The main problem is that as soon as i came with a few answer to that, i came up with so much more that conter all those. I couldnt find any good reasons to want to be in our reality, at least in my reality. Seriously, I work a lot just to get yelled at, double cross, betrayed, punish, hit and/or ignored. So i dont know what to do. 

So this was another rant, i seem to be getting very ranty lately but well, i need to load off. Thanks for reading and any comment would be appriciated.

The Sea (haiku)

Fishes swim all day

Angry they cant fly

In the sea forever bound

Just a small piece i though of after hearing the sobs of a lonely goldfish in a pet store.

The real meaning of school.

Hi again, be warned as this is mainly an emotional relief, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!

So today i was talking with my tutor today and we were discussing the real meaning of school. Basically i just exploded and started babling out to my poor tutor, who had never seen me so shaken up. Basically what i said and is mainly true (at least for the schools i have been) is that the important thing now is the number. Know people dont care for the actual knowledge but the number in the paper. Parent especially at a young age give us the wrong message lately and that the vital part of school is the grade. Dont get me wrong, I know it is very important, but know instead of actually trying to learn students just want to get the top scores. Basically they could memorize it for the exam day but 2 or 3 weeks later, it would have gone away to nothingness. Students dont care to UNDERSTAND what they are studying, why should they? They have been thought that the important thing to get into a good college and get a good job is the danm grade. Because of this cheating increases, stress increases and actual knowledge is not being transmitted good enough. Seriously the educational system needs to change.

What does it all means

WARNING: this is going to be a personal blog which means that it will mainly have the thoughts of a teenager who is pretty dramatic. You have been warn, so read at your own risk.

Ok so this is the deal, for the past few weeks ive been feeling emptiness all over. Things i used to like mean nothing to me anymore, sometimes i do find the fun i used to have but only for a few minutes before the boredom kicks in. I dont seem to find the competitive desire i used to have when i play chess or video games against my friends. My fmaily situation isnt making it any better. I dont know who to express it, it seems i have fall into a void, a crack where it seems i cant move on. I feel im not doing anything with my life. So, seriously, what does it all means? is it even worth the effort? It seems that i dont identify myself with my friends, or that somehow we have change a lot. TO BE CONTINUE...